Pokémon Movie 14 Black—Victini and the White Hero Reshiram

By on Tue 20 December 2011

I just saw this after its TV release this week. What can I say about it… I mean, where do I start? Ok, the name. This is Pokémon Black and it features the White Pokémon. To be fair, the game does this too, and I guess the movie is just following that trend. But, the movie is supposed to feature Reshiram, yet we get to see more of Zekrom!!!

Well, the movie starts with two summer-form Deerlings playing along a narrow cliff. Victini startles one and causes it to fall off (visions of Mew’s mischief making from Movie 8?). The other one tries to rescue it but is pulled down also. So, who comes to their rescue? That’s right, Twerp (“Ash”) Ketchum! And Victini somehow teleports him to a cave on the other side of the valley. He goes through the cave, which takes him directly beneath the castle, then finds himself, helped by Damon (presumably a different Damon from Movie 12), arriving just in time for……

A festival! With a Pokémon battle tournament. Cue opening credits! Which Twerp wins! How original! With Victini’s help. Like, Twerp’s Tepig going up against a Samur-wotter; after a couple moves of it getting pwnd, an invisible Victini helps out the walking ham salad. Then his Zuruggu goes up against that three-headed dinosaur thing. It’s a dragon-type, so Iris of course has a massive orgasm. Zuruggu gets pwnd, Victini works its magic, then comes back to waste the hydreigon. But, Hydreigon’s trainer sees Victini… anyway Twerp wins the contest and the four five six of them go and play.

Turns out that Victini is fond of Dent’s macarons. So even when it’s invisible, it can be found by a disappearing macaron. Amongst the typical annoying cutesy-ness between Victini, AYR, and Iris’s Kibago, it turns out that Damon wants to reverse the flow of the DragonForce. (Sadly, they didn’t get a piece in the movie.) Apparently, he had Zekrom tell him that his ideals will come to pass. But, it needs Victini’s power to do so (like Celebi from Movie 6). The entire castle raises from the mountaintop, and lo and behold, it is in the shape of a giant sword, with the castle as the hilt! So it levitates over to another mountaintop, and it pierces the ground to land.

[tl;dr]

But instead of the DragonForce flowing to help the land, it then starts destroying (like Movie 2 in reverse…this will soon make sense). And, it falls on Twerp to venture into the rock “sword” beneath the castle to find the White Orb that holds Reshiram (you know, like the Red and Blue Orbs of Groudon and Kyogre?). It looks like a maze of corridors reminiscent of the Tree of Beginning from Movie 8. Anyway this time, it takes a miracle from Victini for Twerp to navigate his way to the bottom and get Reshiram, who finally appears, granting Twerp his “truth”.

Meanwhile, Zekrom is guarding the flying castle, along with a Gothitelle (a cross between a ghost-type and Jynx), to fend off the others, with a Golett (the “Golem” pokémon), trying to rescue Victini, who now looks like a tortured Celebi (Movie 4).

Drum roll…

Twerp appears, on the back of Reshiram, and there’s a fight with Zekrom.

Victini gets rescued, yes by that annoying little obese yellow rat, leaving it along with twerp and Victini, while this thing rises inexorably into space. Twerp gets cold, and runs out of air, as they are plunged into darkness, with stars above them and clouds beneath them. How he survives this long must be chocked up to anime physics, I guess. However, he’s comatose but the rat and Victini are ok.

The sword-castle then descends, and Zekrom and Reshiram push it to a hill near the ocean, where it descends. The earth then turns from a dark purple to green (like the end of Movie 2, or perhaps 3), and then everyone lives happily ever after. Except for Victini, who goes MIA; presumably it used up the last of its life force in moving the castle…

So Twerp tosses a macaron in the air, it hovers for a moment, then nibble by nibble, vanishes.

WHY OH WHY DID THAT NUISANCE SURVIVE?!?!?!?!? AND ONLY LATIOS AND RUKARIO HAVE TO DIE???

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